You’re too hard on yourself, the maintenance of your success is not as fragile as you think it is, and I think that, whatever you’re worried about right now, you should worry about it tomorrow.
That’s not the type of advice you usually hear, I know, but I think you need to hear it once in a while.
To fully clear the mind.
To let go of what’s worrying you, until tomorrow and only tomorrow.
To reconnect with yourself.
Then you pick it back up, and you get your shit done, but in a much better mental state that allows for maximum productivity and efficiency.
I do not urge you to put off your responsibilities, to let things build up around you as you choose to ignore them and have fun, but I do insist that you learn to, and I’ll be blunt here, tell yourself to just shut up once in a while.
Its great to be organized, attentive to detail, and prepared for any situation, but what happens when your strength becomes your weakness, when you overthink your preparedness so much that when things do go wrong and you are unprepared, you don’t feel like you can function.
How does it affect you?
Can you stay calm?
Can you go with the flow?
I keep hearing that.
What is it, though?
Its not so much something that’s carrying you as unwilling participant.
Its an invisible force, a force in a universal ocean that is both within and around you, you can willingly choose to either float with it or exhaust yourself in an attempt to fight it.
You can't fight forever, so learn instead to relax your body and mind, inhale deeply and look up.
You’re in the water, and its way over your head either way.
And its that easy: You don't need to be strong enough to swim against it by any means, just smart enough to realize you can simply float along with it.
The only preparedness that is necessary is your mindset.
I know both first hand and from observing others that it takes a special kind of mindset, one you have to train your brain into, to not let shit affect you, to keep calm through the chaos.
To truly roll with the punches in every aspect of life, big or small.
To accept that there is a lesson within every circumstance, and it isn’t going to present itself, WE must be open to finding it.
We can be.
You can be.
You have this power you don't even know about, the power of mind control.
Why are most of us so bad at this?
Well, because we’re taught the opposite.
As humans, we focus on societal necessity, more than necessity of the self.
And by self-necessity I don’t mean driving a nice Audi or buying $300 dresses, I mean what is necessary for you mind, body and soul to be sound and ready to work: like internal balance, and the ability to go with the flow (and be cool with it).
We maintain a baseline within ourselves, and as many of us have experienced first hand, when that baseline is disrupted, nothing really goes as it should.
Any number of outside influences can throw off your baseline, so working to be resilient is one of the best things you can do for both yourself and your responsibilities.
When stress throws you off, it can be frustrating. It can affect your work, your relationships, your appetite, sleep…everything.
We think of our jobs, our lives, as stressful, but maybe its more that we are just stress-prone.
We learned simple responsibility first as children and it has grown with us throughout our lives.
But stress management?
Sometimes I have trouble determining the triggers and symptoms of stress to begin with, let alone being able to manage it.
I think I'm finally starting to crack the code though...
Bills, responsibilities, work, all of these things take priority over seemingly the most important thing: calm.
With calm comes happiness, comes organization, motivation. All of the tools you need to succeed in socially important things like finances, relationships or a successful career.
I’ve learned these arts recently, of calmness and patience, of recognizing the good within the bad, and my internal growth has been incredible.
I can quite literally feel a more positive aura radiating from me.
I can feel myself staying grounded when the old me would have given up.
So how do you attain this magical calm sensation?
That’s all got to do with your attitude!
You choose every response, and if you feel out of control of your responses, here is how you can retrain your brain to be more positive:
Acknowledge the negativity at the point of origin.
It is NORMAL to have negative thoughts, literally ANYTHING can be a trigger for this! Sometimes we just are in a mood, get rubbed the wrong way, and react.
It is also possible to control this with dedication.
This isn’t being phony, its self growth.
This isn’t “treat others the way you want to be treated” this is the assholes-guide to enlightenment and we are doing this FOR US, because it feels better than being angry, and yeah, coincidentally the world becomes a better place.
So, here’s my secret to this, because, YES, it happens to me, too:
Once a negative thought rolls in, that feeling of anger, of frustration, of hate, take a breath and, in your head, repeat after me “self, shut up, you’re being ridiculous.”
NOW, I know “shut up” isn’t the most positive way to address yourself, but baby steps, and chances are you probably DID realize you’re being ridiculous, and maybe even smiled to yourself a little. See? Your mindset is becoming more positive already!
Take a deep breath. Stop it in its tracks.
Breathe in slowly, count to four. Exhale, count to five. Do not think about anything. Focus on the air entering and exiting your lungs. Repeat. Remember, you control your reality. At this point, when you find yourself unable to attain an inner calmness, think to yourself “is there a reason to be negative or am I just looking for one, (and thus, creating it)?” Its an easy fix: instead you simply look for the reasons to be positive, and just ignore the little things that suck.
A good example is driving. You're in the left lane, cruising at 75, and someone pulls in front of you doing 65. You have options here: You can fight the tide, become aggressive and ride his ass, or you can accept the change and go with it, slow it down to 60 (the speed limit is 55 anyway), turn the music up and just simply not get mad about it.
Translate this to everything, choose to be calm.
This mindset is a choice!
To change and to positivity. It is a choice. Replace the negative with the positive. Force yourself to see the good, the bright side, to find the silver lining in every circumstance, and refuse the negative. There are reasons why things we want don’t work out, why things don’t go as planned, we just need to be open to finding the reasons behind them. It takes time. Patience. Understanding. It comes with personal growth. You can do this in small aspects in life and then translate it to bigger things.
Take a day to work on this, every once in a while. To have fun and let all the little things go. Then get back to work, and find yourself more driven and efficient, simply because you are choosing positivity and a calm mind.
That is my (both a yogi and a psych major’s) best advice to you.
Rest, wake up early, do yoga, drink lots of water, eats lots of vegetables, be patient, but in all of this, and in every aspect of life, remain calm and radiate positivity.
You can’t control everything.
But, with a little work, you can control how your brain responds to it.